How to Talk to Anybody By Ramit Sethi
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How to Talk to Anybody By Ramit Sethi – Instant Download!
“I’m tired of being awkward”
Not knowing what to say can be so embarrassing.
Look at these painful comments I found:
“I couldn’t sit near him without getting nervous”
“I’ll randomly remember something stupid I said…
and never able to stop beating myself up for it…”
“I actually want to go and do these things but I get really anxious”
“Literally, doing or saying nothing when I should say something”
“I know what I want to say but I don’t have the way of conveying it”
DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN ANY OF THESE COMMENTS?
Ramit Sethi
HI, I’M RAMIT SETHI. For the last 10+ years, I’ve been helping people live a Rich Life by improving their finances, careers, even starting businesses and mastering inner psychology.
But while we’ve improved ourselves on the inside, what about the outside? What about improving how others see us?
What would it mean to be able to walk into a room and feel naturally comfortable talking to anybody? To leave a positive impression, every time?
Years ago, I was sitting in a conference room with a CEO and 3 senior executives. I was a college intern who had been invited to sit in the executive meeting and present my work from the last month.
I’d worked overtime to get ready. I knew the data. I had copies of the mockups printed and ready to hand out. If I made a good impression, I’d get the blessing of the CEO (and a recommendation letter).
But in the first 60 seconds, I realized I had a disaster on my hands.
As soon as I started talking, their eyes darted away from me. I noticed them quickly look at each other. One of the executives picked up his phone and started browsing it. And then I got interrupted.
“Why are we even talking about this?” one of the executives asked.
My stomach dropped. Out of everything I’d planned for, I hadn’t predicted this. In a split second, I went through all the stages of grief:
This can’t be happening.
Why won’t they just let me finish my presentation?
I should have planned for this. DAMNIT.
So this is how they treat new interns?
There’s nothing I can say now.
That’s what I was thinking. But all they could see was me freeze up with an awkward, deer-in-the-headlights look on my face.
Let’s just say the presentation didn’t go as I expected.
The craziest thing? It wasn’t my preparation. I knew the material inside and out.
My problem was simple: I had done all the work. I had good intentions. But I couldn’t connect with the people around me.
This is the truth nobody tells you.
IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW SMART OR PREPARED OR ACCOMPLISHED YOU ARE — IF YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION BOMBS. AND IF YOU CAN’T CARRY A CONVERSATION THAT CONNECTS WITH THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU, YOU’RE FORGETTABLE.
In other words, nobody can see what’s in your head. But they can see your social skills. That’s why your ability to talk to anybody is more critical than even most technical skills.
Your social skills are the tip of the spear — one of the first things that others notice about us. They don’t see your education, or how hard you’ve worked, or how funny and nice you are. All they know is how you make them feel in the first 5 seconds of meeting them.
Now, you and I both know that people aren’t rational. They’re not making reasoned decisions based on the soundness of our Excel formulas. Like it or not, they’re using our social skills to make split-second decisions about if they like us and trust us — or not.
You can fight it. You can protest it and shake your data at them. You can pretend that likeability doesn’t apply to you. Or you can acknowledge this is the way the world works, and learn how to talk to anybody.
This isn’t just about business meetings. Great conversational skills open up opportunities. And poor social skills limit our professional opportunities, romantic options, even our day-to-day interactions.
Let me show you.
Haunting reminders: What happens when you
struggle with being awkward
Read these comments I pulled from Reddit, where people talk about how being awkward has held them back in life.
“I think that he’s starting to dislike me…[he] even calls me a hermit sometimes.”
“I over-interpret things…”
“I…feel that everyone around me is laughing. It’s…utterly exhausting”
“…Just wears me down”
“In my attempt to be flirty, I’d say something…an asshole would say. 10 seconds later you’re thinking to yourself, ‘fuck…KILL ME NOW’”
It’s easy to notice the negativity and pain of not being confident and socially smooth.
BUT NOTICE SOMETHING ELSE.
BEING AWKWARD IS A LABEL WE GIVE OURSELVES.
It isn’t true.
That’s like saying, “I’m not strong…I can’t lift weights” without ever setting foot in a gym.
Being “awkward” simply means we haven’t practiced improving our skills at talking to anyone, and connecting with everyone.
You can talk to anybody without anxiety or nervousness or fear. In fact, you can get pretty damn good at it.
I know, because I did exactly that.
The blind spot that’s holding us back
Isn’t it funny how much time we’ll spend improving our finances, our career, even what shampoo and body wash we buy…but we almost never take the time to improve our social skills?
I’m talking about what we say…how we say it…our body language, our intonation, even knowing what kind of jokes work around different people.
We don’t want to admit this stuff matters, but it does. In fact, it’s more critical than many of the things we spend our time on (like finding the latest productivity app).
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
— MAYA ANGELOU
You can have the best technical skills in the world. But if you can’t communicate to the people around you — if you haven’t learned the skills of being likeable — what’s the point?
- You can be be the world’s greatest project manager, but if you can’t motivate your team to follow your plan…how good is your plan?
- You can be the nicest, funniest guy in the bar, but if you don’t know how to start and hold a conversation with a stranger…how would anyone know?
- You can go to parties, but if you can’t make people remember who you were (in a positive way)…why would they invite you back?
Social skills aren’t just about turning into a smooth-talker. The ability to set aside your awkwardness and make other people feel great when they meet you cuts to the core of our very ability to live a Rich Life in personal, professional, even intimate relationships.
And as we get older, our relationships matter even more than our technical skills.
Knowing this, it’s bewildering how we put our social skills on the back burner. The very thing that people notice first, the skills we use every single day of our lives…and most of us never spend even a day learning how to improve them!
It’s almost like we expect to automatically have social skills just because we can speak English. What the hell? Who thinks because they can spell their name, they can write The Grapes of Wrath on the back of a napkin?
Nobody!
But we think we should be able to magically talk to anyone. Then we get frustrated because we don’t seem to be as “natural” as some other people — without putting in the time to learn how.
Is it weird to “practice” social skills?
A few years ago, I thought I was in a great spot. My business was growing, I had just moved to NYC.
But if there’s one thing I remember about those first couple of years, I remember the Friday nights.
See, I knew some people when I moved here, and we’d go out sometimes. But I remember some Fridays when I wanted to go out…but my phone didn’t ring. When I texted friends, they were all busy. I wanted to go out…but didn’t know enough people to hang out with.
I checked my phone at 5pm. No texts (“Maybe people are going out later”). 7pm: Nothing. By 9pm, I sighed and fired up Netflix. Sometimes, I went to sleep by 10pm on a Friday — nights when I wanted to go out. It took me 2 years to really get comfortable with a group of friends.
It’s moments like this where you question what the hell you’re doing with your life. Sure, you’re working hard during the week, but what’s the point if you don’t have people to hang out with and have fun with? And why are you always the one putting in the effort?
I finally had an epiphany. I had been treating my social life as if it would just happen on its own. Do you notice what I was doing those Friday nights? WAITING FOR PEOPLE TO TEXT ME!!
When I started trying to understand why I was being so “lazy” about learning how to make more friends, I realized I had an invisible script that systematically trying to improve my social skills was weird.
We’re just supposed to magically walk into a room, order a martini on the rocks, and watch people swoon to us? Get a life, Ramit.
You know what I think is weird NOW? The fact that we’ll label ourselves “awkward” or “shy” and go our entire lives without even trying to test that assumption once!
Think how powerful it would be to develop the skills to become likeable. What an amazing advantage — to know you can go anywhere and be confident, you can walk in authentically and honestly, and you walk away leaving people smiling. That’s more important than any marketing or
psychology tactic I had ever employed.
And when I multiplied that skill over the next 50 years of my life, it was staggering to consider.
BEING ABLE TO TALK TO ANYONE IS…
- The difference between “plateauing” at work or becoming a true leader
- The difference between taking “what I could get” or being proactive in finding the right romantic partner
- The difference in just showing up and struggling to talk to whoever was around…versus having FUN with the people around me
What could this mean for you? The difference between being promoted or spending the next 30 years doing the exact same thing you’re doing now, overlooked and ignored? The difference between a joyous relationship or one you just tolerate?
I decided to study this the same way I would study anything else. I tried to put aside my invisible scripts and dive in. I DIDN’T want to become a cocky pick-up guy. I just wanted to be COMFORTABLE in any situation.
Just as my trainer says, “I want you to be able to walk into any gym and no matter what they’re doing — 225lb bench, squats, deadlifts — walk over and do exactly the same thing,” I wanted to be comfortable no matter where I found myself.
3 “WTF” Beliefs That Were Holding Me Back
One thing I discovered when I was studying social skills was that underneath all of the tactical, “what should I say when…?” details that most people obsess about were 3 crazy beliefs holding me back.
Discovering the truth about these beliefs unlocked possibilities I didn’t know existed before. I want to share them with you now.
BELIEF #1: WE THINK SOME PEOPLE ARE “NATURALS”
WHAT I THOUGHT: Some people are just born “naturals.”
MY INVISIBLE SCRIPT: I’m a loser, I’ll never catch up, I’m not like them
THE TRUTH: We all start at different levels, but everyone can improve their social skills. The uncomfortable truth is that socially skilled people get more practice — more interactions, more people wanting to talk to them — resulting in a virtuous circle of becoming better and better.
BELIEF #2: IT’S “WEIRD” TO PRACTICE TALKING TO PEOPLE
WHAT I THOUGHT: It’s “shallow” to try to practice this. (After all, I can’t improve it anyway!)
MY INVISIBLE SCRIPTS: “My skills should speak for themselves,” “They should recognize I’m a nice guy”
THE TRUTH: It’s NOT other people’s responsibility to recognize how nice or smart I am. It’s my responsibility. Of course it’s embarrassing to admit I wasn’t born with all the skills to be the perfect gentleman. And of course I immediately jumped to the most logical extreme — “I’m going
to have to use fake canned lines and become one of those slicked-hair weirdos! — but it wasn’t true. The truth is, learning these skills helped me share my REAL self with the world instead of hiding behind the excuses of being “shy” or “tired”
BELIEF #3: EVERY DAY I WASN’T IMPROVING, I WAS DETERIORATING
WHAT I THOUGHT: “I’ll do it later…when I have more time”
MY INVISIBLE SCRIPTS: “I can’t do this, and even if I do, where do I start? How do I learn to talk to anybody? This is overwhelming. Ugh, I’ll do it later”
THE TRUTH: Every single day I wasn’t improving, I was losing opportunities. I would walk in and meet someone, but they wouldn’t remember me. My CEO at work wouldn’t listen, even though I had all the data. I was getting passed over because other people were better at their
presentation!
WHAT WE FORGET ABOUT “NATURALS”
Have you ever seen a child meet someone? They walk right up and say “hi!” Why? Because they haven’t been rejected, humiliated, and embarrassed. They don’t have walls up yet.
You ARE a natural — you’re natural at being curious, friendly, and most importantly, yourself. It was only years later that society chipped away at our natural confidence and made us worry about saying the wrong thing. I won’t let you label yourself “awkward” or “shy.”
When I started working on my social skills, I set a goal: I wanted to be able to talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime.
Since then, I’ve talked to 3-star generals, anchors on the Today Show, and best-selling authors, as well as taxi drivers and janitors. I can’t remember the last time I felt nervous nervous to talk to someone. The best part is, I’ll have this skill forever.
And now I want to teach you how to do it, too, because your ability to connect with the people around you is the greatest single competitive advantage I can give you.
Introducing…
THE ART AND CRAFT OF TALKING TO ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME
…EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT A “NATURAL”
We ALL have challenges talking to people.
We smile too much. We don’t smile at all. People get bored of our stories. They’ve called us bitchy. We apologize too much. We talk too fast. We talk too slow. We ramble…or we clam up and don’t say a word at all. We’re shy. We’re forgettable.
We chalk it up to genetics and say “that’s just the way I am.”
Until now.
If you’ve ever seen a friend walking towards you and averted your gaze…
If you’ve ever thought about what you said the night before and winced…
If you’ve ever felt like people see you as…
- A people pleaser
- An emotional basket case
- A ditzy oversmilerA rambler
- An emotionless robotA bitch
- An awkward creeper
- A chronic apologizer
- A silent observer
- A guy in the shadows
- A buzzkill
Then it’s time to make a change.
You can change the way people see you. I’ve learned and systematically tested it with myself and my students. And now I want to show you how.
How to Talk to Anybody is 4-week, online, downloadable video course that shows exactly how to improve your conversation skills with ANYBODY… and be able to apply those lessons to EVERY conversation you have…naturally and automatically.
This isn’t mere theory. By the end of the course, you’ll feel comfortable talking to anybody around you — whether it’s setting limits with an overbearing family member, getting a stern boss to become your ally, or even deepening your relationship with your friends or significant other.
How to Talk to Anybody goes much deeper than simply “work conversations” or “pickup game.”
This course gives you the building blocks to talk to anyone, anywhere at anytime… whether it’s one-on-one or in a group setting, whether you’re trying to get a job or build a friendship. These skills are universally applicable during the most pivotal moments of our lives.
And unlike other skim-the-surface material, we’ve gone deep into the psychology of conversational skills at the highest levels.
We won’t give you cheesy lines to blurt out in different situations. Instead, we’ll show you how the best test and perfect a conversational style that’s all their own — and how you can, too.
How to Talk to Anybody includes:
OVER 8 HOURS OF CONVERSATION FRAMEWORKS, TESTED TACTICS, WORD-FOR-WORD SCRIPTS, SCENARIO PLANS AND FIELD CHALLENGES to practice in real life — all on video, all fully transcribed, all downloadable in audio/video formats
HOURS OF EXCLUSIVE “SOCIAL SKILLS TEARDOWNS” where I diagnose and recommend improvements to real students’ conversation roadblocks. You’ll get access to these extraordinary videos where you’ll see their social skills improve right in front of your eyes
I show Alice how to stop rambling and add value to any conversation.
BODY-LANGUAGE ANALYSIS so you become 10X more interesting — without changing a word. I’ll walk you through examples of before-and-after body language, including “implementation rules” to apply them to your own style
CONVERSATIONAL SCRIPTS to accompany the video lessons. Use these scripts to kickstart a conversation and keep it going — authentically and naturally
It would have been easy for me to stop here and give you the video lessons, the teardowns, and the scripts.
But I don’t just want to give you a course. I want to give you a guide for living a Rich Life through the ability to talk to anybody. This is one of the most powerful skills you can possibly imagine. When you close your eyes and imagine the most socially skilled person you know, imagine
what it would be like to be him for just ONE day.
How would people treat you? What would be different when you walked into a room? Would people stop and look up at you for just a second? Would you catch them staring and see them nervously look away? How would it feel to be in control and in command of the situation unfolding
around you?
You can do that. It’s my goal to help you lead a Rich Life, and this is a core part of it.
That’s why I didn’t stop with just the coursework. I went even further with How to Talk to Anybody.
BONUS #1
ACCESS TO THE ALL-NEW HOW TO TALK TO ANYONE VAULT
I added in complimentary bonus videos that show you exactly how to apply the course lessons to the most difficult and delicate social situations — including how to make friends at work, gracefully exit any conversation, and build rapport without getting hit on. I went one step further
and showed you how to apply these lessons to your own style.
BONUS #2
A 90-MINUTE INTERVIEW WITH OLIVIA FOX CABANE,
AUTHOR OF THE CHARISMA MYTH
We cover how we can be more likeable and make new friends, become a better leader, and connect with everyone we meet. Watch Olivia do a social-skills teardown of me! The video also includes specific techniques to build your confidence, starting right now.
In less than 30 days, you’ll learn…
We distilled the most powerful conversational lessons, tips, strategies, scripts and exercises into a fast, step-by-step system. Most “naturals” spend YEARS learning this material by trial and error, thousands of conversations, and painfully awkward encounters. We’ll save you the time
and hassle.
In less than 30 days, you’ll learn…
- The powerful “Invisibility Cloak Method” to BREAK THROUGH MOMENTS OF SHYNESS among strangers
- HOW TO MAKE CONVERSATIONS MORE FUN AND ENGAGING, using social experiments the “naturals” have been using for years
- Natural ways to MELT AWAY AWKWARDNESS when starting conversations
- My “SETHI Technique” to systematically IMPROVE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE and 10x the impact of message… without changing a single word
- How to “Earn Their Like” when you meet a new romantic interest, new friend, or a crucial business partner
- A simple framework to ensure YOU’LL NEVER RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY AGAIN
- My tested system for curating and cultivating your own “Story Toolbox” to TELL STORIES PEOPLE CAN’T STOP LISTENING TO
- How to entertain a group of people effortlessly while overcoming the challenges like interruptions, distractions, and large audiences
- The exact exercises to build up your leadership “muscles” while STAYING TRUE TO YOUR OWN STYLE AND PERSONALITY
- The art of a perfect introduction and what subtle actions you need to take afterwards to CRAFT YOURSELF AS AN UNFORGETTABLE PERSON
- A 4-step approach to CONFIDENTLY WALK INTO ANY EVENT with warmth and charm, leaving people looking around and asking, “Who was that?”
- How to GRACEFULLY NAVIGATE SOCIAL BLUNDERS… plus word-for-word scripts to get people to like you even more, AFTER your “mistake”
- THE INVITATION SYSTEM I USED after I moved to New York City to get more invitations and Friday “hang-out” texts — includes exact scripts, emails, and text messages
No fluff — this is real, practical, hands-on training
You don’t learn social skills from a book. In this course, you’ll learn the exact words, body language, and even subtle “connection” strategies to use.
And then we’ll show you how to practice these skills until they become second nature. We’ll start off with “low-stakes” practice, like with the local FedEx delivery guy and your barista. If you’re nervous, we’ll give you small “cheats” to use at first. Then we’ll go deeper, showing you how to
blend these new strategies with your friends, your co-workers, even your family.
We’ll never give you vapid statements like “Be yourself!” and “Act confident!” In How to Talk to Anybody, we’ll arm you with every conceivable tool you need to learn how to connect with anybody. The word-for-word scripts. The hours of video teardowns. And even psychological “barrier
busters” to help you catch and conquer the insidious barriers that keep us from improving.
If you’re wondering how well this works, let me show you.
How to Talk to Anybody By Ramit Sethi, What is it included (Content proof: Watch here!):
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